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How long can someone with narcissistic tendencies maintain a facade of fake love before their true self is revealed? Is there a specific trigger or amount of time that causes them to reveal their true nature?

Last Updated: 20.06.2025 01:04

How long can someone with narcissistic tendencies maintain a facade of fake love before their true self is revealed? Is there a specific trigger or amount of time that causes them to reveal their true nature?

If the tell you im not a cuddler, i dont like to kiss and i dont like foreplay or ild prefer to have sex and then slerp in another bed - well lets just say intimacy avoidance is something your going to want to figure out because you DONT want your sex life controlled or flat or non existant. You want to go five yrs with an avoidant type? Your relationship will go straight off the rails. Watch for patterns. All cluster b exhibit payterned behaviour and no they dont change

a few things you can try

is your relationship one sided? Controlling?

I haven’t eaten junk food for weeks, I ate dirty all-day yesterday, but I can’t even workout, why am I so tired?

if you have children and they dont, you cohabitate together and the step parent figure does bot like your kids or shows jealousy or beflect or contempt or blind anger get out. Your kids deserve a happy childhood and if you take the partner over your kids ill promise you you ll regret that choice until the day you die. Your kids are your all do not ever forget that

addictions issues or you notice they are over indulging? Lack impulse control?

if they say they dont think they have to say they love you often, they dont often surprise you with thoughtful gifts or show you ways of how much you mean to them, no just because cards or effort into romance , youve got a dudd. Trust me their are those that may not be overtly open with affection and then their are those that outright neglect you. Huge difference

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use boundaries and stick to them

you gotta be three steps ahead of them. Do not blindly trust anyone!

what is their sexual history? Dont be afraid to be a sleuth and ask subtle questions to family and friends about their sating history.

If the Red Pill is supposed to be so bad, why are so many young men buying into it? What about Red Pill makes it appealing to them?

a narc ususally goes in hard and fast , sometimes that “soul mate” bull shit. You are the only one that gets me. They Rush into sex, rush into dating. They dont usually take it slow. Their goal is ownership and that may take the phony presentation of love bombing (not always) , mirroring and grooming.

Do they have shady work histories? Shady histories? Shady pasts lacking huge chinks of time? Do they say they have been to other countries yet they know no one there or have no reasonable reason for international or out of state travels? Huge red flags

do they have weird relationships with their parents? Mysoginistic? Do they treat you different when they are in public verses at home? Do they treat others differently or even better then you and bo thats not jealousy that is a hallmark.

I have BPD. Why do I destroy everyone I love?

Well my answer still remains the same around the three months if you do your reading and research you will see tiny red flags, ommissions and have insight into what to look for.

are you more anxious now that you are dating them but you dont know why?

are you having more bad days with them then good days?

Why does my narcissistic ex told me that he f*cked and sleep with other woman and then at the end says that it also happened because of me?

often they do not treat pets well or normally …

do you feel in your gut when they arent with you they are up to no good? Please dont wave this off as you being insecure. Ild rather you fofure it out before you get an std.

are everyone of their exes bitches or assholes? Or do they sell you the all my relationships had no problems. Sorry real boats rock. Be careful of how far that pendulum swings.

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how do they feel about you if you take a weekend for yourself or dont text them every day. Its ok to have space and its ok to see how they respond to you having me time. Remember in the beginnjng they go hard/fast , they own, they lust and they mark their territory.

do your family or friends or colleagues tell you gently something is off with them but you just wave it away or justify their offness? I sure did - for years

what is their temperment? how do they deal with conflict?

My girlfriend lied and said she never gave oral until me. She was very skilled. I’m upset with her lying. Do I dump her?

they use the im so overwhelmed bullshit line on you. If they pin their stress or their anger or irritability on you and it feels very wrong. Its because it is

do you find yourself gratuitously apologizing to them?

are you isolating more?

I am still studying engineering. I feel worried being an average student. Can I get a good job in placement, buy a house, and a car? I don't know why I feel this.

are you afraid to say your opinion because they will argue or gove you the silent treatment?

try saying no

how are they with money?

Has anyone had a romance scammer start messaging them on Quora? How do you know if the person is scamming you? What do you do?

beware of multiple f book profiles, multiple emails and do not be afraid to check dating sites when they say they are off

if you notice your doing all the work in the relationship red flag

do you start walking in egg shells?

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if they talk alot about themselves or dominate the party or conversation thats a red flag.

are you not permitted to meet their ...

Do they project? Did You catch them flirting and they say no your just too sensitive, your eyes didnt see what you thought you saw and actually maybe you are the one who is too flirty? Nope stick to your guns they love to gas light

Do happily married husbands cheat?

beware of the folks that tell you they are different from other men or other women

how are they with you checking thrir phone? After all you have nothing to hide on yours do not think it is bot your right to randomly just ask to see their phone. I went five years with them taking their phone to the bathroom (no it does not take an hr to poop) , they leave their phone face down. Or they have notifications turned to silent. Do they have it passworded solid? Those that hide nothing from you have nothing to hide. Many a time i wanted to check his lap top and phone and felt lime it would cause a fight if i asked guess what. That was a five year snoke n mirror trick and their would have been a fight alright it would have been me saying pack your bags.

Everything looks perfect, you feel a chemical rush that feels like you and the narc are inseperable and you forget that taking it slow gives you time to really get to know eachother. Sex on date one or date two is not always the best thing for someone who wants to hold back and see what you have in common. Yould be surprised after the discard how little the two of you REALLY had in common.

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You look for their past rekationships. You look for patterns . Patterns with family, work, how they treat customer service workers, waiters. Watch how they give or recieve gifts … this takes time , coverts are the tricksters of all tricksters but i promise you look for the signs and dont let your guard down. Their actions have to match their words.

If they ruin christmas or bdays or anniversaries - red flag